I used to have a favorite resort in Cabo. It was my travel porn of choice – the happy place my mind went to when I needed a little bit of escapism. The margaritas were fantastic and my favorite room there was a hammock was in the shade in the balcony. Hammocks are one of my favorite amenities, and too few hotels have them. Not to mention Cabo is an easy flight from Los Angeles. I loved that hotel. It was a special occasion sort of resort, an aspirational kind of place where I felt like a better, sexier, tanner more glamorous version of myself.
Then, unfortunately, Ray J make Kim Kardashian a superstar by filming part of their sex tape at that resort, which he described as “ballin.” It totally ruined it for me. Never mind the bad camera work or the fact that the Cabo segment of that video might be the most boring set of scenes in the entire celebrity sex tape genre. Ray J is such a lame cameraman he even made the beautiful suite look common while describing it as “fly.” I suspect Ray J thought the tape would make him a famous swordsman, not win any awards for cinematography.
I think the moment that ruined it for me was when they make out in the infinity pool. I mean, who knows how often they change that water? Eeew. From then on, even my daydreams felt tainted. Note: there is a great clean transcription of the Cabo section of the tape on The Agony Booth.
When travel porn collides with the reality of a celebrity sex tape, I find myself unable to return to that hotel. I had to break up with my favorite resort. I even removed the resort’s Do Not Disturb sign (which I took from the hotel) from the door on my home office.
My sense of humor is generally a good coping mechanism for travel – but on occasion, it works against me. I’ve been known to drop a perfectly timed movie quote from time to time. I fear this skill, fueled by tequila-filled margaritas and gems of Ray’s terrible dialogue would be a disastrous combination – one that would for sure annoy my sweet and patient husband (who would never waste a second of his life saying the word “Kardashian”).
The Beach in Cabo